Atomic Habits — Part 13

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0:00Hi everyone. Welcome to Read with Selina.
0:03Today we're talking about Atomic Habits, Chapter 13,
0:04Make It Attractive
0:06I don't know if any of this sounds familiar to you
0:08or resonates with you in some dimension,
0:11this had been a pretty typical routine for me
0:14in the past throughout many years.
0:16For the longest time,
0:17I didn't particularly like the weekends.
0:19It is not that I don't enjoy hanging out with friends
0:21or taking a day off, any of that.
0:23It is more because I couldn't trust myself
0:25with the freedom that was given to me
0:26to make the right decisions and do the right things.
0:29I would wake up with all these plans and desires
0:31but then I would grab my phone,
0:33thinking that I was simply going to check time and messages.
0:36But then before I know,
0:37a few minutes on the phone turn out to be a few hours.
0:41I would find myself scrolling through short videos for hours,
0:45And then one thing would lead to another.
0:46Maybe at some point I would see a video
0:48on a show that seems interesting,
0:50and then I'll look it up online.
0:51At some point I would start feeling hungry,
0:53but I was too glued to the television
0:56that I couldn't pull myself out of it.
0:58And soon enough, it'll be night time.
1:00It starts to get dark outside,
1:03and I hadn't even been out once.
1:04But at that point,
1:06all I wanted to do was to continue watching television
1:08until I finished the entire show.
1:10Even though I knew that doing so
1:12would ruin my next day,
1:13I would still do it because at that point,
1:16I've already gone too far to come back.
1:18Eventually, I'll go to bed at 3 or 4 a.m.,
1:21feeling exhausted, even more tired than the weekdays,
1:25unproductive,
1:26feeling remorse and a lot of regret.
1:28And then I would try to catch up on work,
1:30but by that time I already didn't have enough time
1:32to complete everything that I wanted to do.
1:34Sometimes this routine plays out differently.
1:36Sometimes when I wake up in the morning,
1:38I do carry out the things that I plan out to do:
1:40pack my bag,
1:41go to a coffee shop,
1:43and sit there for one or two hours
1:44to reflect on the week
1:46and plan out the next week.
1:48And then I would take a long walk around the block
1:50and think about hard problems
1:52that I haven't found the answer to
1:53When I'm almost done with walking,
1:55I will go to the grocery store nearby,
1:57buy some fresh produce
1:59and prepare for the next week,
2:00and then cook myself a nice lunch
2:03and share it with my roommate.
2:04After lunch I would
2:05listen to my favorite podcast
2:07while I clean the room and do laundry,
2:09call my friends
2:10If I have spare time in the evening,
2:12I'll usually do some writing or reading，
2:15and do a little bit of workout,
2:16shower and go to bed early.
2:18As I became more mature
2:20and learned more about myself as well as about habits
2:23and read more books,
2:24I started to have better control over
2:26what kind of weekend I can have.
2:28The weekends that I have currently
2:30are all very purposeful.
2:31And if you ask people
2:32what the cause of my change is,
2:35a lot of people that have witnessed my evolution
2:37from before to now
2:39would probably say that
2:40compared to before,
2:41I'm now better at self-control.
2:42And they would be entirely wrong.
2:44I'm a very easily tempted person,
2:46and even today I'm still very susceptible to easy habits
2:50that are interesting and attractive to us short-term,
2:53but are harmful to us long-term.
2:55Such as if I pick up a phone,
2:57and I start checking social media,
2:59I can still fall into the trap of
3:01scrolling non-stop for hours.
3:03But I would say that
3:03these occurrences are extremely unlikely,
3:06and it is through voluntary control over my life.
3:09And how am I able to do that？
3:11It is not through exercising self-control
3:13at every single moment.
3:15The point here is that
3:16"Every action carries with itself a momentum."
3:19One thing usually leads to another.
3:21And the reason why it is so hard for you
3:23to stop doing certain things
3:24is because those actions
3:26are not carried out voluntarily.
3:28I was an economics major in college,
3:30and one of the books
3:31that was repeatedly recommended by my economics professor
3:35was this book by Daniel Kahneman,
3:37Thinking, Fast and Slow.
3:39The author himself is a Nobel Prize-winning economist
3:42and the book introduces two systems of our brain,
3:46System 1 and System 2.
3:48These are fictional systems.
3:49They do not refer to any
3:50physiological structures in our brain,
3:53but are heuristics for us to understand
3:55how our brain operates.
3:56System 1 refers to the more primitive part of our brain
3:59that is affected by our subconsciousness, feelings,
4:03intuition, and stereotypes.
4:06System 2 is the more rational, smarter,
4:08more developed part of our brain
4:10that is in charge of logical thinking and analysis.
4:13System 1 and System 2 operate together,
4:16but System 1 is usually faster,
4:18and System 2 is much slower.
4:20Even though we're constantly exercising System 2,
4:23System 1 is always in place
4:25and subtly affecting our decisions made through System 2.
4:29Even though System 1 is more impulsive and primitive,
4:31there's ways to modify it through System 2
4:34by engaging our System 2
4:35and consciously working on it.
4:37At the time I read the book,
4:38I didn't really get to appreciate
4:40the application of System 1 and System 2,
4:43because I saw the book more
4:44as an unverified theory.
4:46But during the five or six years of time
4:48since I first read the book,
4:50as I started to learn more and read more
4:52and understand more about myself,
4:54I find myself constantly thinking back on the theory that
4:58Dr. Kahneman pictured in his book.
5:00And that theory about System 1 and System 2
5:03is very relevant to what we're discussing about habits,
5:06because "habits are automatic choices
5:08that influence the unconscious decisions that follow."
5:11Researchers estimate that there's a 40-50% of our actions
5:15on any given day that are done out of habit.
5:18So, in a sense,
5:19we can see habits,
5:20these automatically carried out actions,
5:22to be similar to what we refer to as
5:25System 1 thinking.
5:26Whereas those conscious decisions
5:28that we make during the day
5:30are more about System 2 thinking.
5:32The issue here is that
5:34we perform half of our daily actions out of habits.
5:37Every habit takes you on a path.
5:39It is very difficult to stop doing something
5:42once you've started doing it.
5:44Our actions have momentum.
5:45So habits are the starting points of a series of actions.
5:48Once you've carried out certain actions automatically,
5:52you continue to perform that action
5:54for a long period of time.
5:55And throughout the day,
5:56there's only a couple of key decision points
5:59where it can shape the direction of your day.
6:01And the author James,
6:02he uses this graph to explain
6:03what is going on.
6:05On any day,
6:05you have the option to
6:07make a good choice or bad choice.
6:09There's only certain decision-making points
6:10that matter throughout the day.
6:12And once you make a decision,
6:14you go on a path that takes you upward or downward.
6:16So when you're faced with a decision point,
6:18if you make a good decision,
6:20then you go upward.
6:21If you make a bad choice,
6:23then you go downward,
6:24so on and so forth.
6:25And based on the decision
6:26that you make at each decision-making point,
6:28there's an infinite number of possibilities
6:30how this day can play out.
6:32And based on the aggregate of your decisions
6:35throughout the day,
6:36the day is either good or bad.
6:37These little moments that matter
6:39are called decisive moments.
6:40Based on what you choose,
6:42you go on an upward or downward path，
6:44and your options will be limited
6:46based on that decision.
6:47If you wake up in the morning
6:48and open up your social media app
6:50that you know is easily addictive,
6:52then you're embarking on a path
6:54where you'll be losing three four hours of time already.
6:57And at the point where you decide to
6:59check out this new show that is released,
7:01the decision to click play on the first episode
7:03determines what's going to happen to you
7:05in the next few hours to come.
7:07At that point,
7:08it will be very difficult for you
7:09to stop what you are currently doing
7:11and revert path to doing
7:13something completely different.
7:15Because when you're watching
7:16the second, third, fourth episode,
7:18you're being let down the path of least resistance
7:20and simply following the impulse of your System 1.
7:23Given that these automatic habits
7:25are the entry points to different paths
7:27that lead to different outcomes throughout the day,
7:30a few habitual choices
7:32determine the path you take.
7:33And these little decisions stack up,
7:35each setting the trajectory of
7:37how you will spend the next chunk of time.
7:39In order to control the outcome
7:41that we get out of the day,
7:42we want to be able to master these habits
7:45and make sure that we more often than not
7:48make the right decisions
7:49at the points where it matters
7:51so that it takes us on an upward trajectory
7:54and leads us to an ideal outcome.
7:56And the question becomes：
7:57If habits are so important
7:59and determine the direction of our day,
8:01how do we develop good habits?
8:03What is the easiest way to develop a good habit
8:06that has a higher chance of success?
8:07James recommends this technique
8:09called the Two-Minute Rule.
8:10I like to consider it as
8:12the MVP version of a good habit.
8:14The principle is easy.
8:16Whenever you want to start a new habit,
8:18do not commit to anything longer than two minutes.
8:21For example,
8:22if your goal is to run a marathon,
8:24then your goal for each day
8:25should not be to go on a run for 30 minutes
8:28or even 10 minutes.
8:30The action should be something that
8:31takes you less than two minutes to complete,
8:34such as changing into your workout attire
8:37and putting on your running shoes.
8:39Once you've put in enough repetitions
8:41for that act itself to become a habit,
8:43then you can stack up on top of that
8:45to include something slightly more difficult.
8:48For example,
8:49if your goal is to earn a PhD,
8:51he recommends that
8:52you split your task into five categories.
8:55One is very easy.
8:56Two is easy.
8:57Three is moderate.
8:58Four is hard.
8:59Five is very hard.
9:00If you want to earn a PhD,
9:02that is considered the task that is very hard.
9:05So the hard task here should be
9:06getting straight As.
9:08And the moderate task would be
9:09to study for three hours.
9:11The easy task should be
9:12to study for ten minutes,
9:14and the very easy task should be
9:15to open your notes.
9:17So you go in reverse order
9:18and reverse engineer
9:20the most simple version of the habit
9:22that you can complete in two minutes.
9:24And every single day for two minutes,
9:27you would open your notes.
9:28And you will repeat that
9:29until you're ready to move on to the easy task
9:31which is to study for ten minutes.
9:34And after that you can begin to
9:36challenge yourself with the moderate goal,
9:38study for three hours.
9:39And then you can go for the hard goal
9:41which is to get straight A's.
9:43And then eventually you can take on
9:44the hardest task which is to get a PhD.
9:47But you should not rush the process
9:48and move on to the next step
9:50before you really master the first one.
9:52And he even said that
9:53a good rule of thumb is that
9:54the first two minutes should seem too easy.
9:57It should leave you a feeling of wanting to do more,
9:59and if it passes the point of feeling like work,
10:02then you're already doing too much.
10:04And as you repeat that act
10:06enough number of times,
10:07your brain will start to form patterns.
10:09And each time you repeat that act,
10:12the act will become easier and easier.
10:13You become more efficient at it,
10:15and gradually your brain will form this new pathway
10:18that will allow you to perform that act with mastery.
10:21And once you've repeated the act enough number of times
10:24that you pass the habit line.
10:26When engaging in the act is now effortless
10:29and even automatic to you,
10:30you're ready to move on to the next step.
10:32If you want to learn more about
10:33the habit line
10:34or how many repetitions it takes
10:36to get you past the habit line,
10:38feel free to check out my video
10:39on chapter 11 of Atomic Habits.
10:41And he said the reason why this strategy is effective
10:44is because every time you do the act,
10:46you are casting one vote toward
10:48your desired identity.
10:50Most people are too consumed
10:51by the end goal itself.
10:53Everybody wants to be in shape,
10:54but they don't want to
10:55go through the process of working out.
10:57So if you're someone that is out of shape,
10:59instead of obsessing over the idea of being fit,
11:02work on being the person
11:03that consistently shows up for gym exercises
11:06every single time and never misses one single workout.
11:09Keep your focus on the process
11:11rather than the end goal,
11:12The goal would take care of itself.
11:14Also, it is better to do less than what you hoped
11:17than to do nothing at all.
11:19One minute of guitar practice
11:20is better than nothing.
11:21And as long as you consistently practice the habit,
11:24your mastery of the act will increase,
11:27and you will be able to take on more and more challenges.
11:30But first, develop the habit.
11:32"A habit must be established
11:34before it can be improved."
11:35Instead of trying to
11:36engineer the perfect habit at the onset,
11:39focus on doing the easy thing first,
11:41and then standardize.
11:42Remember to put your reps in
11:44and stay below the point
11:45where it starts to feel like work.
11:47As you master the art of showing up,
11:49the first two minutes will become a ritual
11:51at the beginning of a larger routine.
11:54And the more you ritualize the beginning,
11:56the easier it will be for you to quickly get into the zone
12:00and carry out the desired act at peak performance.
12:03For more information on this idea,
12:06please check out my video on chapter 12 of Atomic Habits.
12:10This technique of
12:11breaking your larger goal down into smaller pieces
12:14and starting from something that's extremely simple,
12:17and gradually increasing the level of difficulty
12:19is called Habit Shaping.
12:21And you can combine it with the Twe-Minute Rule
12:24to scale up your habit
12:25toward the ultimate goal.
12:27To prevent failure,
12:28here are two things that you can do.
12:30One is to stay below the point
12:32where it starts to feel like work.
12:34The second is to keep a goal streak calendar
12:36to mark your progress
12:37and give yourself occasional rewards
12:39for every milestone you have.
12:41You can use a physical calendar
12:43and just check off the dates
12:45on every day that you've completed a task,
12:47or if you prefer to use your devices,
12:50there are plenty of softwares
12:51that can enable you to do so electronically.
12:54And the reason for keeping a goal streak calendar
12:57is that it gives you a sense of accomplishment.
13:00Having a visual reminder of
13:01how far you've gone* so far
13:02will help you focus on the process
13:04rather than how much you've accomplished in one day.
13:08And by simply focusing on
13:10checking off your goal streak,
13:12you can avoid the trap of going too fast too soon
13:15and biting off more than you could chew.
13:16There's also other ways to
13:18do that with a community of people.
13:19I've renamed all my videos
13:21to have the serial number
13:23of the total number of videos I've made.
13:25And now that I can see
13:26how many videos I've made,
13:28I have a much clearer sense of
13:30how far I've come along in the journey.
13:32And just by seeing that one number grow
13:34gives me a lot of motivation
13:36to continue on in making it even larger.
13:38I'd like to quickly summarize
13:40what we just learned in this chapter.
13:42We learned that
13:42there's only a few decisive moments in our day
13:45that determines the trajectory that
13:46determines the outcome of our day.
13:48We learned that many habits
13:50occur at these decisive moments.
13:53And even though the habits
13:54can be completed in a few seconds,
13:56their impact lasts for hours or even longer.
14:00And therefore,
14:00it is really important to take control over
14:02these habits that happen at decisive moments，
14:05so that we can regain control over our lives.
14:07And one of the best ways to develop those habits
14:10is by using a combination of The Two-Minute Rule
14:12with the Habit Shaping technique.
14:14And we learned that in order to
14:16make it easy for us to start a habit,
14:18we should not challenge ourselves
14:19with something that feels like work.
14:21At the very beginning,
14:22you should break the habit down
14:23and take no longer than two minutes
14:25to complete the minimum viable version of your habit.
14:29Stay below the point when it starts to feel like work
14:31and remember to keep track of your progress
14:34so that you can focus on the process
14:36and stay motivated.
14:37And then lastly,
14:38I would like to close this chapter
14:40with my favorite quote,
14:42"Standardized before you optimize,
14:43you can't improve a habit that doesn't exist."
14:46In the next video,
14:47we're going to talk about chapter 14,
14:48which is the last chapter on the third law
14:50of behavioral changes.
14:51Chapter 14, how to make good habits inevitable
14:54and bad habits impossible.
14:56We are going to learn
14:57this concept from psychology
14:58called Commitment Device，
14:59and how to apply that
15:01and make it extremely hard or even impossible for us
15:04to perform a bad habit.
15:06We're also going to learn how to
15:07automate our habits
15:09so that one smart decision
15:11made at the right time can
15:12pay off over and over again.
15:14All right,
15:15if you like the content so far
15:16and are looking forward to learn more about
15:18how to develop better habits,
15:20please make sure to subscribe to the channel, like the video,
15:23and share with people
15:24that you want to develop better habits with.
15:26This is Selina,
15:27thank you for watching,
15:28and I look forward to seeing you next time.

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