【全英】你的每一个选择，都是同向不同道路的路口 | 《原子习惯》第十三章

[All UK] Every choice you make is an intersection of different roads going in the same direction | Chapter 13 of "Atomic Habits"

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atomic habits procrastination phone addiction self control doom scrolling wasted weekends

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Sister, it has been two months since I started watching your videos and I have just found a job with a probationary period. My sister's videos really help me a lot, especially for someone like me who is impatient. (I read books very quickly, thinking that after reading a book I can directly reach the state in the book) [call]
姐姐，我从开始看你的视频到现在刚找到一份试用期的工作已经两个月。姐姐的视频真的帮到我很多，特别是我这种急性子。（看书很快，以为看完一本书可以直接能达到书中的状态）[打call]
I use my sister’s videos as podcast listening, it’s very helpful [call]
姐姐的视频我拿来当播客听力，非常有帮助[打call]
Selina has been really productive lately! ! [Star Eyes][Star Eyes][Star Eyes] I benefit from every article and I wish I could listen to it every day! ! Looking forward to my sister’s documentary ~ [call] [call] [call]
Selina最近真的很高产！！[星星眼][星星眼][星星眼] 每一篇都很受益巴不得天天都听！！期待姐姐的纪录片～[打call][打call][打call]

Transcript

0:00Hi everyone. Welcome to Read with Selina.
0:03Today we're talking about Atomic Habits, Chapter 13,
0:04Make It Attractive
0:06I don't know if any of this sounds familiar to you
0:08or resonates with you in some dimension,
0:11this had been a pretty typical routine for me
0:14in the past throughout many years.
0:16For the longest time,
0:17I didn't particularly like the weekends.
0:19It is not that I don't enjoy hanging out with friends
0:21or taking a day off, any of that.
0:23It is more because I couldn't trust myself
0:25with the freedom that was given to me
0:26to make the right decisions and do the right things.
0:29I would wake up with all these plans and desires
0:31but then I would grab my phone,
0:33thinking that I was simply going to check time and messages.
0:36But then before I know,
0:37a few minutes on the phone turn out to be a few hours.
0:41I would find myself scrolling through short videos for hours,
0:45And then one thing would lead to another.
0:46Maybe at some point I would see a video
0:48on a show that seems interesting,
0:50and then I'll look it up online.
0:51At some point I would start feeling hungry,
0:53but I was too glued to the television
0:56that I couldn't pull myself out of it.
0:58And soon enough, it'll be night time.
1:00It starts to get dark outside,
1:03and I hadn't even been out once.
1:04But at that point,
1:06all I wanted to do was to continue watching television
1:08until I finished the entire show.
1:10Even though I knew that doing so
1:12would ruin my next day,
1:13I would still do it because at that point,
1:16I've already gone too far to come back.
1:18Eventually, I'll go to bed at 3 or 4 a.m.,
1:21feeling exhausted, even more tired than the weekdays,
1:25unproductive,
1:26feeling remorse and a lot of regret.
1:28And then I would try to catch up on work,
1:30but by that time I already didn't have enough time
1:32to complete everything that I wanted to do.
1:34Sometimes this routine plays out differently.
1:36Sometimes when I wake up in the morning,
1:38I do carry out the things that I plan out to do:
1:40pack my bag,
1:41go to a coffee shop,
1:43and sit there for one or two hours
1:44to reflect on the week
1:46and plan out the next week.
1:48And then I would take a long walk around the block
1:50and think about hard problems
1:52that I haven't found the answer to
1:53When I'm almost done with walking,
1:55I will go to the grocery store nearby,
1:57buy some fresh produce
1:59and prepare for the next week,
2:00and then cook myself a nice lunch
2:03and share it with my roommate.
2:04After lunch I would
2:05listen to my favorite podcast
2:07while I clean the room and do laundry,
2:09call my friends
2:10If I have spare time in the evening,
2:12I'll usually do some writing or reading，
2:15and do a little bit of workout,
2:16shower and go to bed early.
2:18As I became more mature
2:20and learned more about myself as well as about habits
2:23and read more books,
2:24I started to have better control over
2:26what kind of weekend I can have.
2:28The weekends that I have currently
2:30are all very purposeful.
2:31And if you ask people
2:32what the cause of my change is,
2:35a lot of people that have witnessed my evolution
2:37from before to now
2:39would probably say that
2:40compared to before,
2:41I'm now better at self-control.
2:42And they would be entirely wrong.
2:44I'm a very easily tempted person,
2:46and even today I'm still very susceptible to easy habits
2:50that are interesting and attractive to us short-term,
2:53but are harmful to us long-term.
2:55Such as if I pick up a phone,
2:57and I start checking social media,
2:59I can still fall into the trap of
3:01scrolling non-stop for hours.
3:03But I would say that
3:03these occurrences are extremely unlikely,
3:06and it is through voluntary control over my life.
3:09And how am I able to do that？
3:11It is not through exercising self-control
3:13at every single moment.
3:15The point here is that
3:16"Every action carries with itself a momentum."
3:19One thing usually leads to another.
3:21And the reason why it is so hard for you
3:23to stop doing certain things
3:24is because those actions
3:26are not carried out voluntarily.
3:28I was an economics major in college,
3:30and one of the books
3:31that was repeatedly recommended by my economics professor
3:35was this book by Daniel Kahneman,
3:37Thinking, Fast and Slow.
3:39The author himself is a Nobel Prize-winning economist
3:42and the book introduces two systems of our brain,
3:46System 1 and System 2.
3:48These are fictional systems.
3:49They do not refer to any
3:50physiological structures in our brain,
3:53but are heuristics for us to understand
3:55how our brain operates.
3:56System 1 refers to the more primitive part of our brain
3:59that is affected by our subconsciousness, feelings,
4:03intuition, and stereotypes.
4:06System 2 is the more rational, smarter,
4:08more developed part of our brain
4:10that is in charge of logical thinking and analysis.
4:13System 1 and System 2 operate together,
4:16but System 1 is usually faster,
4:18and System 2 is much slower.
4:20Even though we're constantly exercising System 2,
4:23System 1 is always in place
4:25and subtly affecting our decisions made through System 2.
4:29Even though System 1 is more impulsive and primitive,
4:31there's ways to modify it through System 2
4:34by engaging our System 2
4:35and consciously working on it.
4:37At the time I read the book,
4:38I didn't really get to appreciate
4:40the application of System 1 and System 2,
4:43because I saw the book more
4:44as an unverified theory.
4:46But during the five or six years of time
4:48since I first read the book,
4:50as I started to learn more and read more
4:52and understand more about myself,
4:54I find myself constantly thinking back on the theory that
4:58Dr. Kahneman pictured in his book.
5:00And that theory about System 1 and System 2
5:03is very relevant to what we're discussing about habits,
5:06because "habits are automatic choices
5:08that influence the unconscious decisions that follow."
5:11Researchers estimate that there's a 40-50% of our actions
5:15on any given day that are done out of habit.
5:18So, in a sense,
5:19we can see habits,
5:20these automatically carried out actions,
5:22to be similar to what we refer to as
5:25System 1 thinking.
5:26Whereas those conscious decisions
5:28that we make during the day
5:30are more about System 2 thinking.
5:32The issue here is that
5:34we perform half of our daily actions out of habits.
5:37Every habit takes you on a path.
5:39It is very difficult to stop doing something
5:42once you've started doing it.
5:44Our actions have momentum.
5:45So habits are the starting points of a series of actions.
5:48Once you've carried out certain actions automatically,
5:52you continue to perform that action
5:54for a long period of time.
5:55And throughout the day,
5:56there's only a couple of key decision points
5:59where it can shape the direction of your day.
6:01And the author James,
6:02he uses this graph to explain
6:03what is going on.
6:05On any day,
6:05you have the option to
6:07make a good choice or bad choice.
6:09There's only certain decision-making points
6:10that matter throughout the day.
6:12And once you make a decision,
6:14you go on a path that takes you upward or downward.
6:16So when you're faced with a decision point,
6:18if you make a good decision,
6:20then you go upward.
6:21If you make a bad choice,
6:23then you go downward,
6:24so on and so forth.
6:25And based on the decision
6:26that you make at each decision-making point,
6:28there's an infinite number of possibilities
6:30how this day can play out.
6:32And based on the aggregate of your decisions
6:35throughout the day,
6:36the day is either good or bad.
6:37These little moments that matter
6:39are called decisive moments.
6:40Based on what you choose,
6:42you go on an upward or downward path，
6:44and your options will be limited
6:46based on that decision.
6:47If you wake up in the morning
6:48and open up your social media app
6:50that you know is easily addictive,
6:52then you're embarking on a path
6:54where you'll be losing three four hours of time already.
6:57And at the point where you decide to
6:59check out this new show that is released,
7:01the decision to click play on the first episode
7:03determines what's going to happen to you
7:05in the next few hours to come.
7:07At that point,
7:08it will be very difficult for you
7:09to stop what you are currently doing
7:11and revert path to doing
7:13something completely different.
7:15Because when you're watching
7:16the second, third, fourth episode,
7:18you're being let down the path of least resistance
7:20and simply following the impulse of your System 1.
7:23Given that these automatic habits
7:25are the entry points to different paths
7:27that lead to different outcomes throughout the day,
7:30a few habitual choices
7:32determine the path you take.
7:33And these little decisions stack up,
7:35each setting the trajectory of
7:37how you will spend the next chunk of time.
7:39In order to control the outcome
7:41that we get out of the day,
7:42we want to be able to master these habits
7:45and make sure that we more often than not
7:48make the right decisions
7:49at the points where it matters
7:51so that it takes us on an upward trajectory
7:54and leads us to an ideal outcome.
7:56And the question becomes：
7:57If habits are so important
7:59and determine the direction of our day,
8:01how do we develop good habits?

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