Atomic Habits — Part 4

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The last habit is one I developed recently and is almost the same as up. [Starry Eyes] Recently, I have been using post-it notes to write down the date of October xx, 2023 every night, and I have checked the xxx message. It is particularly useful for improving the habit of swiping the phone and the habit of staring at the phone. [呑ya] And I don’t know if it’s because I watched too many short videos in the past. I often feel that my memory and concentration are declining, and I have a tendency to “turn my head and forget things”. I hope I can correct myself by looking at my phone less and sleeping more. [Smile]
最后一个习惯是我最近养成的，和up几乎一样。[星星眼]最近每天晚上都用便利贴写下2023年10月xx日，已check xxx 消息。对改善习惯性划手机和习惯性对着手机发呆特别有用。[呲牙]而且不知道是不是因为之前短视频刷多了，常常觉得记忆力和专注度都在下降，有“转头忘事”的趋势。希望自己可以通过少看手机多睡觉，改正过来。[微笑]
My treasure up has been given to countless friends by Amway [Star Eyes] Let’s improve together
我的宝藏up，已经安利给无数小伙伴了[星星眼]大家一起提升
The two books that the up writer has read happen to be those I have read carefully, and I also read Pure English Atomic Habits for a long time during the summer vacation! It really benefited me a lot and changed a lot of fixed thinking in my life.
up主读过的两本书刚好是我细读过的，我也是在暑假啃了很久的纯英原子习惯！真的受益匪浅，改变了我生活中很多固化的思维

Transcript

0:00Hi everyone, welcome to Read with Selina.
0:02Today we're going to talk about the
0:03first law of behavior change, Chapter 4
0:06of Atomic Habits by James Clear.
0:07Last time we said that there's
0:094 steps in a habit loop.
0:11There's cue, craving, response, and reward.
0:13If you want to develop a
0:14new habit or you want to
0:15eliminate an old habit, you can
0:17tackle each one of the four
0:19phases in forming a habit.
0:21Corresponding to each of the 4
0:22steps in the habit loop, we
0:23have 4 laws of behavior change.
0:25Today we're going to talk about the
0:27first step, cue, and the corresponding law,
0:29which is to make the cue obvious.
0:32This topic is broken down in the
0:33book into 4 chapters, and today we're
0:35going to talk about the first chapter.
0:37If you want to see the
0:38full picture, collect and like the
0:40video, and also subscribe to the
0:41channel to make sure that you
0:43get notified on my latest posts.
0:44Starting from 4th grade, I began
0:46to learn English more intensively and
0:49practiced on a day-to-day basis.
0:51So by the time of middle
0:52school, my English level was already
0:55way above most of my peers.
0:56And I usually performed really
0:58well in English exams.
0:59My classmates at the time would always
1:02come to me and ask me all
1:03kinds of questions, and would show me
1:05the questions that they got wrong in
1:06exams, and ask me to teach them
1:09how to correct them.
1:10I was very glad that people were
1:11reaching out to me for help, but
1:13when I attempted to answer their questions,
1:14I found it to be extremely difficult to explain myself
1:17because I'd simply go for whichever
1:19answer that sounded the best.
1:20I did not understand grammar,
1:22I did not memorize vocabulary,
1:23I basically knew nothing of
1:25the language except what sounds
1:26right and what does not.
1:28And I used that to guide
1:29me in answering all the questions.
1:31It feels almost like
1:33there's a sound mumbling in my ears
1:35when I look at the questions
1:36and the correct answers just simply popped out.
1:39And there was no thinking
1:40involved except pattern matching.
1:42That example is a simple demonstration of
1:44the first point that James Clear makes
1:46in this chapter, which is: with enough
1:48practice, your brain will pick up on
1:50the cues that predict certain outcomes without
1:52consciously thinking about it.
1:53Our brains act as prediction machines.
1:56When we're exposed to enough of
1:58the same pattern, our brain automatically
2:00recognizes that pattern and predicts what
2:03will happen based on past occurrences.
2:05We learn from our experience and perceive
2:07the world based on our past experience.
2:10And that powerful ability our brain has
2:12can provide a lot of benefits, such
2:14as helping me through all the English
2:16exams that I've ever taken.
2:17But it also comes with certain dangers.
2:20Once we get used to a certain pattern, it collapses
2:22into our unconscious mind, and we no longer
2:25make decisions when we perform them.
2:27We perform them automatically without making
2:30conscious decision to do so.
2:32So once our habits are
2:33automatic, we stop paying attention
2:35to what we're actually doing.
2:36And that can cause harm if
2:38our habits do not serve the
2:39objectives that we wanna pursue.
2:41As we discussed in previous videos, habits
2:43or behaviors stem from belief or self-image.
2:47We have infinite sets of beliefs
2:49based on our past experience and
2:51ideas that we are exposed to.
2:53When it comes to money,
2:54we have financial beliefs.
2:55When it comes to school,
2:56we have academic beliefs.
2:58And some of the beliefs are
3:00liberating while others are limiting.
3:02Those liberating beliefs allow you to do
3:04what you want to do, while these
3:05limiting beliefs serve to protect you.
3:07But they can also hold you
3:09back if you desire change but
3:10your actions do not match what's
3:12required for that change to happen.
3:14We're the catalyst of change.
3:15If we don't change, there's no
3:17point for us to expect that
3:18something would change for us.
3:19Looking back in time at certain instances,
3:22I can put my finger on certain beliefs that were
3:25controlling me and causing negative consequences.
3:28When I was in college, the framework
3:29of my academic belief was extremely simple
3:32and it had a lot of loopholes.
3:33I believed that hard
3:34work always pays off.
3:35I had no idea of prioritization,
3:3780/20 principle, and I did not have a
3:40clear idea of how to find the
3:42intersection between what I like, what I'm
3:44good at, and what the society needs.
3:46All I knew was to work hard
3:47and I expected that someday maybe I
3:49will get rewarded for the hard work.
3:51So with that belief, I went into
3:52college trying to make myself as busy
3:55as possible, because I believed that that
3:57was the only way to success.
3:58I signed up for as many courses
3:59as the school permitted and I really
4:01tried to pack my schedule so tightly
4:03that I did not leave many breathing
4:05room for myself.
4:06I thought breaks were not
4:07allowed, and suffering was expected.
4:09That belief led me to have
4:11an extremely busy yet stressed first
4:14year, and an extremely unsuccessful but
4:17also depressed second year, in college.
4:19And at that point, I wasn't
4:20yet a person that would reflect
4:21periodically on myself to assess what
4:23I did right or wrong.
4:24I would stress myself out, feeling extremely
4:26tired every day, my physical and mental
4:28health were both going downhill, and I
4:30wasn't even performing well at school.
4:32And I had no idea what
4:33to do after I graduate.
4:34So I decided at that point
4:35that something needed to change.
4:36Gradually, through a lot of trial
4:38and errors, I figured out that
4:40I should evaluate myself based on
4:42my output rather than input.
4:43Instead of calculating how many hours I
4:46put into a certain task or how
4:48much suffering I went through, I should
4:50instead evaluate:
4:52How much value did I
4:53create to other people?
4:54How good, what's the
4:55quality of my output?
4:57And once I shifted my mental model,
4:58my performance started looking up, and I
5:00was also able to have a much
5:02more enjoyable time and get a lot
5:03of satisfaction out of school.
5:05And when I first started working,
5:06I kind of ran into the
5:07same situation where I realized that
5:09something needed to be changed.
5:10At this point, because of what happened
5:12in the past, I became more savvy
5:14so that I know to have a
5:15more long-term perspective and to make plans
5:18for my future.
5:19So at that point, when I first
5:20started working, I knew what I wanted
5:22for the next few decades to come.
5:24I knew that I wanted to form
5:25a family, I knew that I want
5:26kids, and I even did the math
5:28of how much it will cost.
5:29And the answer was that if
5:30I want to provide for my
5:32future children and give them the
5:33lifestyle that I think they should
5:34have, it will cost around $5
5:36million, which I did not have.
5:38But as an optimistic and hardworking person,
5:40I still had in my mind the
5:41belief that as long as I work
5:43hard and I'm doing all the right
5:44things, everything will work out fine.
5:46And at the time, I was in
5:47this well-respected law firm, and I expected
5:50that within a few years I would be working for a
5:52big law firm, making about 200K annual
5:55salary with a steady lockstep increase
5:57every year.
5:58Because law is a well-respected profession, people
6:00usually associate that with wealth and success.
6:03But when I discussed with my
6:04boyfriend our future plans and what
6:06our expectations are for raising kids,
6:09we realized that making 200, 300K dollars
6:12a year in salary versus the expectation
6:14to have $5 million before we have
6:17kids do not match up.
6:19And that was a sobering realization
6:20that caused me to start thinking
6:22whether I was doing something wrong.
6:23Comparing this situation to previously what I've
6:25dealt with when I was a college student,
6:27I would say that the situation
6:28was much better
6:30because I wasn't suffering, I was having a good time,
6:32and I enjoyed my profession.
6:34And everything was pretty good, except they're
6:36not good enough, and I wanted more.
6:38Even though I was happy with
6:39the status quo, again there's something
6:40that needed to be changed.
6:41In order to have 5 million,
6:43I must first have 1 million.
6:45But being used to my existing
6:47pay grade, 1 million seemed to
6:49be an astronomical amount.
6:51Even as law firm partners, if you're
6:53not a rainmaker, you probably make somewhere
6:55around 500k to 700k per year.
6:58And that's not even close
6:59to a million dollars.
7:00So even though I had always known
7:02what I wanted for my future life
7:03and my future kids, I was still
7:05shocked by the realization of what it
7:07would take for me to get there.
7:09And having gone through all the struggle
7:10with academics in college, at this point
7:13I already knew that in order to
7:15make something happen, the first thing that
7:17I needed to change was my mindset.
7:18I have to no longer see
7:201 million as this formidable amount
7:22I can't ever reach.
7:23If I continue to think that way,
7:24it will always continue to be true.
7:26I have to be able to
7:28see myself as someone that can
7:29make that much money.
7:30In order to act like someone
7:31that can make a million dollars
7:33a year, I have to first
7:34think like that person, because beliefs
7:36and actions have to align.
7:37I've always been very interested in business
7:39and in law school I actually got
7:41a chance to enroll in a lot
7:42of business school classes and actually advise
7:45several startup companies and get in touch
7:47with their founders.
7:48And I knew that that's the path
7:50that I should go on as well.
7:52And I also imagined that
7:53after I worked for a couple years as a lawyer,
7:55I would enroll in an MBA school
7:57and become a business person myself.
7:59That had always been
7:59part of the vision.
8:00But when I realized that there was no time for me to
8:02get ready, and that I had to take the leap of faith
8:05right away,
8:06it still came as a kind of a sobering realization,
8:08because even though I
8:09knew on an abstract level that I
8:11would become a business person someday, it
8:13was still extremely hard for me to
8:15visualize myself actually doing business right away.
8:18I just couldn't think of how I would get started
8:20or what I would do,
8:21who would I contact.
8:22I felt directionless.
8:24And that again shows how much impact
8:26our past experience has on how we
8:28predict or foresee the future.
8:30Because all my past experience had been
8:33as an employee, the idea of generating
8:35wealth by myself was so foreign that
8:38there was no lived experience for me
8:40to attach the idea to.
8:42I felt extremely lost.
8:43And at that point, I realized
8:45that the reason why it was
8:46so hard for me to visualize
8:48myself as a business owner was
8:50because I've never been one.
8:52It's very hard for us to visualize
8:54something that we have not personally experienced.
8:57When we say “I can see
8:58myself doing this or doing that,"
9:00it means that you are able to
9:01visualize yourself engaging in those actions.
9:04And if you're able to do that,
9:05you have a much better chance of
9:07success, versus if you can't imagine yourself
9:10doing that action, or if your vision
9:12is very blurry.
9:13And when you hear people
9:14talk about law of attraction,
9:15it's all the same thing.
9:16It's about whether you have
9:18a clear pattern in your mind
9:21or a visualization in your mind of
9:23yourself engaging in a certain behavior.
9:25And if you have past experience of
9:27doing that, the vision could be very
9:29clear because you've already done it.
9:31You know the exact details.
9:33You can feel it.
9:34You can sense it.
9:35If you have no idea at
9:36all how you would do a
9:37certain thing, then most likely you
9:39are not going to do it
9:40Our brains are tied to patterns, we
9:42are tied to our past behaviors.
9:43Which is why changing on a
9:45fundamental level and carrying out a
9:47new behavior, breaking from our old
9:49habits, are extremely hard.
9:50So I thought, my imagination
9:52is limited, but there's ways
9:54to supplement that with reality.
9:56I couldn't see myself exactly as a
9:58business owner yet because I didn't have
10:00any past experience being one.
10:02So the only way to build myself
10:03gradually toward that vision is to gather
10:06more evidence, proofs; by doing things that
10:08I think a business owner would do,
10:10learning from those experiences as well as
10:12from other people, and gradually fine-tuning my
10:14identity as well as my actions to
10:16match those of a business owner.
10:18That's exactly what I did, and that's
10:20how I got started with everything.
10:22I decided that I would never be
10:23ready, the time would never be right,
10:25and there would be no one to
10:27guide me through this.
10:28And I have to figure
10:29it out on my own.
10:29And as I continued to move
10:31forward, my vision became more and
10:32more real because it no longer
10:34lives in my imagination.
10:36We actually have employees, we have our
10:38work management systems, we have our onboarding
10:40process, we have products, we do market
10:42research, we have real users.
10:44So I no longer have to imagine
10:46myself as a business owner anymore.
10:49I am the business owner already.
10:50And now when I look back to
10:51decide what was the turning point where
10:53my mindset shifted from that of an
10:55employee to that of a business owner,
10:57the answer is very clear.
10:58It all started from the moment when
11:00I had the awareness of what was
11:02happening, both in the objective world and
11:04in my subjective mind.
11:06I took inventory of what I had
11:08and what I want at the time
11:09and assessed whether there was alignment.
11:12And when I realized that my vision
11:13was grander than my reality and that
11:15I needed to make a mindset shift,
11:17I audited my mindset and checked which
11:19ones are in alignment with what I want to achieve
11:22versus what's holding me back,
11:23and started taking actions on those
11:25limiting beliefs and actions.
11:26And here in the book, James
11:27Clear says the process of behavioral
11:29change always starts with awareness.
11:31You need to be aware of your
11:33habits before you can change them.
11:34And how can you raise your
11:35awareness from an unconscious level to
11:37a conscious level so that you
11:38can notice certain behaviors?
11:40James recommends this method
11:42called "pointing and calling."
11:43He says that in Japan, before a
11:45train departs from the station, the operators
11:48will point at each different object and
11:50call out their names and status.
11:51When they see a green light,
11:53they will point at the green
11:54light and call out "green."
11:55Before they leave the station, in
11:57order to check if there's anyone
11:58on the platform, they would actually
12:00point at the platform and say "clear"
12:02before they're able to leave.
12:03And it's a safety system
12:05designed to reduce mistakes.
12:06And it may sound silly, but it
12:08actually reduces errors by up to 85%
12:11and cuts accidents by 30%.
12:13And it is so successful that it
12:15got adopted by other subway systems in
12:17the world, such as the MTA subway
12:19system in the New York City.
12:21The point and calling system is effective
12:22because it raises awareness of an unconscious
12:25habit to a conscious level.
12:26And because one of the greatest challenges
12:28that we face in changing a habit
12:30is that most of our habits are
12:31unconscious, we also need a point and
12:33call system in our personal life.
12:35There's this simple exercise that you
12:37can do called the habits scorecard.
12:40And in the book, there's an
12:41example of how you can make
12:42one for your daily routines.
12:43When you make the scorecard, the
12:45first step is to take inventory of
12:47all the activities that you engage in
12:48on a daily basis.
12:49The second step is to determine whether
12:51the habit is good, bad, or neutral.
12:53And there's no objectively
12:54good or bad habits.
12:55It all depends on what
12:56your personal goal is.
12:58So for this purpose, we define good
12:59habits as those that have a positive
13:01net effect to your long-term goals.
13:04And bad habits to be those
13:05habits that have a negative effect
13:06on your long-term goals.
13:08So the same behavior can be
13:09good or bad for different people
13:11depending on what your goals are.
13:13And this is the question
13:13that he likes to use:
13:15Does this behavior help me become the
13:17type of person I wish to be?
13:18Does this habit cast a vote
13:20for or against my desired identity?
13:23Habits that reinforce your desired
13:24identity are usually good.
13:26Habits that conflict with your
13:27desired identity are usually bad.
13:29After you make a list of all
13:30your habits, the second step is to
13:32assign a symbol to them.
13:33If it's a good habit, put
13:35a plus next to it.
13:36If it's negative, if it's
13:37bad, mark it as negative.
13:39If it's neutral, write equal.
13:40And one important thing to note
13:42when you make this scorecard is
13:44not to judge yourself.
13:45Your role in this exercise
13:46is to be an observer.
13:48You want to assess and evaluate
13:49your daily performance as an objective
13:52third party with no interest involved
13:55in order to keep yourself impartial.
13:57And it could be challenging sometimes, because
13:59I've tried write myself and whenever I
14:01write down something that I'm not so proud of
14:03I feel really bad
14:04and want to judge myself for those actions.
14:07But it's really important to keep that
14:08mindset out of the exercise and try
14:10to be as neutral as possible.
14:12When you notice something that's
14:13good, do not commend yourself.
14:15If you see something that's bad,
14:17also do not blame yourself.
14:18Simply take notice as if you're reading
14:21someone else's story and say, oh I
14:23see that this person checks her phone
14:25too much, checks her phone when she
14:26doesn't want to.
14:27That's interesting.
14:28And that's all you need to do.
14:29That's the attitude you should
14:30keep during this exercise.
14:32And if you find it too hard
14:33to stay impartial, there's 3 techniques that
14:36I use that I personally found helpful.
14:38One is that you literally
14:39put on different hats.
14:41We usually say this phrase metaphorically "to
14:43put on different hats," but it's actually
14:45helpful if you have two hats.
14:47For example. you can physically put on
14:49a hat and say, okay, now I'm
14:50playing the role of an impartial judge, and
14:52I want to make a list and
14:53assess all the behaviors based on my
14:55understanding of this person.
14:57So you're acting as someone that knows
14:58yourself really well but is unattached to
15:01any of the emotions that you will
15:02normally have by physically putting on the
15:04hat on your head.
15:05If you don't have a hat, maybe
15:07designate one of your shirts as a
15:08special shirt that you will put on
15:10when you want to look at your behaviors impartially,
15:12or even designate one of
15:13your pens as a special pen that
15:16you would write as the impartial person.
15:19And then the second technique that I
15:21would use is, like if you like
15:23to write journals for example, you can
15:25write in third person and instead of
15:27referring to yourself as "I" or "me," call
15:30yourself "he" or "she" or just by
15:32your names.
15:33Instead of saying I check my
15:34phone too much or I don't
15:36exercise enough, say instead:
15:38Selina checks her phone too much.
15:39She doesn't exercise enough.
15:41And the third technique that I have
15:42is if your like taking notes on
15:45your laptop like I do, I use
15:47OneNote, and it allows your to create
15:49different tabs within the same folder.
15:51You can use that to reflect on the
15:53same thing but using slightly different perspectives.
15:56And having different tabs allows you to visually
15:59see the divide between different perspectives.
16:01And after you've built the list
16:03and assigned symbols to them, the
16:04third step is to verbalize it.
16:06Say out loud the actions that
16:08you engage in to raise awareness
16:09and bring your habits to the
16:11conscious mind so that you're no
16:12longer performing those actions on autopilot.
16:14Now you're aware of what you're doing,
16:16and you're more capable of changing it.
16:18And this is a formula
16:19of what you will say.
16:20You will state the action that you
16:21are about to do, and then state
16:23your desired action that you wanna take,
16:26and then state the consequence of engaging
16:29in the action you're about to do.
16:30So for example, if you want to
16:32stop eating too much sweets, whenever you
16:34pick up a cookie, you can say:
16:36I'm about to eat this cookie.
16:38I don't need to eat this cookie.
16:40Eating this cookie would cause weight
16:42gain and harm my health.
16:43If you want to stop a
16:44bad behavior from happening when it's
16:46about to happen, you can say,
16:48I'm about to do X.
16:49I don't need to do X.
16:51Doing X would cause, and then you add the
16:54negative consequences of doing that action
16:55and how that impacts your long-term
16:58goal or your desired identity.
16:59If you want to cause a desired
17:01behavior to happen more often, you can
17:03apply the same formula but add time
17:05to the first element.
17:06You say, I'm going to do laundry
17:08tomorrow when I get back from work.
17:10I need to do laundry.
17:11Doing laundry would keep my room
17:13clean and make me feel organized.
17:15By verbally saying those actions that
17:17you are about to do
17:18or try to not do out loud,
17:20you're getting yourself to acknowledge your actions.
17:23And that makes all the difference.
17:24After I read this chapter, I did
17:26the exercise myself, and I implemented the
17:28strategy to improve my daily habits.
17:30So this is what I did.
17:31When I created my habit scorecard,
17:33I realized that I have this
17:35habit of constantly checking my phone
17:36whenever I feel stalled at work.
17:38But I also realized that
17:39it's a bad habit that
17:40conflicts with my desired identity.
17:42So I took this action of verbalizing
17:44the action of the bad behavior that
17:46I have, as well as what I
17:48want to do instead, using the formula
17:49that I just introduced.
17:51So this is what I wrote.
17:52I said, I'm about to check social
17:54media, but I don't need it.
17:56Checking it will cause me
17:58to get distracted and block
18:00the progress of my team.
18:01Whenever I start working, I
18:04physically attach the sticky note
18:06on my phone like this.
18:09Whenever I feel the impulse to
18:10check my phone, I see the sticky
18:12note and I have to read it
18:13out loud before I can remove it
18:15and unlock my phone.
18:17Just by going through this list
18:18and reading it out loud brings
18:20awareness to what I'm doing.
18:21So having this sticky note over here
18:23is extremely helpful because not only do
18:25I have to read through the list
18:27and remind myself of what I'm doing
18:29out loud, I also have to physically
18:31remove it to reveal my screen in
18:34order to use it.
18:35If you have the same problem
18:36and find this to be helpful,
18:37I would recommend you to create
18:39your own reminders to raise awareness
18:41on your unconscious behaviors to yourself.
18:43And I would love to see in
18:45the comment section what other techniques or
18:47methods that you use to bring awareness
18:50to what you automatically do.
18:51I will also love to know what
18:52you wrote down on your habit scorecard
18:54and what discoveries you've made.
18:56Give this exercise a try, and let
18:58me know in the comment section:
18:59what is one habit that
19:00you would like to change?
19:01In the next video, we're going
19:03to talk about the best way
19:04to build a new habit.
19:06Like, collect, and subscribe to
19:07the channel, and I will
19:08see you again next time.

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